The Two Faces of Jess

My existence as a singular person has long been dueled over by two different personalities. 

That's me on the right... spent four years in... sword school... True story.

The first- the quieter, more demur version of myself- longs to spend my afternoons reading in a comfortable chair with good natural lighting, listening to soft classical music, while my homemade apple pie, I thoughtfully planned and prepped for, days in advance, is browning in the oven.

I am rocking that hat.

In my youth, my room would have held a spartan decor akin to the bare dormitories of Dead Poets Society; with only a desk, a bed, a lamp, a picture of my family, and a contraband radio as my possessions. (What kid doesn't dream of this? I ask you.)

Now, as a mature adult and wife, my days would be filled with taking time to grow my own veg, sewing and knitting clothes and hand-making gifts, baking my own bread, and shopping for the rest of dinner in a small corner store where I know the clerk and ask about his day. His name is Mr. Hooper and the wife and kids are doing just fine.

I do this all with an adorable head scarf and capris, channeling Ashley Judd in Ya-Ya, of course.

Here I am corresponding with the troops, you know, just doing my part.

I would write thank you letters as soon as a kindness was performed for me, and I would call instead of text, and visit instead of call.

Electronics, of a visual nature would appear sparingly in my life.

All of this, of course, increasing my ability to realize and be present in the act of breathing, smiling, laughing, chewing, hugging, kissing, relaxing, sleeping and always being.

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Then there is the Jessica who has won the day. 

The Victor!

You are always aware of her presence because she is fond of being present... She laughs loud and talks fast.

She's watched so many movies and so much television in her lifetime that she wrote her college thesis on it (hand-to-God). She has only ever successfully grown kale (which is the Bruce Willis of plants and will never die, so please don't be overly whelmed).

And despite having served years at adolescent part-time-jobs, in two separate card stores, this Jessica still never sends salutations (of any sentiment) with any proper regularity. And one day (shakes fist ruefully) she's going to clean out all of the trinkets and clothes and books and paper and movies that she's collected over the years. Because she is a collector... and she has stuff.

God, she has so much stuff.

And she is, by all accounts, me.

And now after battling this ongoing dichotomy for the past 15 years - I must marry my two souls together. My husband, my two cats, me and all of my (our) stuff are moving from a 1400 sq.ft. 2 bedroom 2 floor, 3 bath apartment in the spacious burbs to a 680 sq.ft. 1 bed and den in the city. In less than a month.

I share all of this with you because the more I own what's about to happen (insanity) the more I become prepared for it and the more the first Jessica kicks in and kicks the current Jessica off the couch and into gear.

And one day when I'm on Oprah's couch (that's still a thing right?) and talking about how fabulous my tiny life is- you will know from whence I came.

From a busy, and most days, ADD addled, creatively-charged, magical-thinking but well-meaning brain. And you will be all "I can do that! That woman is crazy and she could do it. Huh, I got this."

So anyway.  Now you know, that's me, in a nutshell.

How did I get into this nutshell? What sort of nut has shell like this?

Salutations and Felicitations (just not in a store-bought card, that shit takes planning),
Jessica

One woman's quest to live with less in a world that thinks that more is best.

Ok, so it's been a while. 

So I'm not perfect... so I didn't letter in high school (Drunk Uncle from SNL? Anyone?).

But I'm back, and itching to tell you what's been going on.  And it all starts with some very silly people doing a very silly thing:

Joe and I moved to the country* last October (out of DC... pretty, pretty, wonderful DC), in an effort to save money and be smart as we head toward starting a family. 

*Read country as 30 minutes outside of DC in the burbs, but Joe feels country has more cred.

And it's a beautiful home... huge, 1400 sq.ft. with 2 master bedrooms, each with their own bath, washer/dryer IN unit (drool) and a 20 foot patio (currently the habitat for a 17 ft. colorful hammock from Mexico-double drool).

Cut to 6 mo. later and we can't take it anymore! I mean what were we thinking!? Moving OUT of the city? There are no words. Sure we were doing this for our future family... but there's no sense in sacrifice if it means you're going to resent your kids as soon as you create them.

I mean there's sacrifice and then there's just dumb.

Our commutes alone are enough to send us both into bad moods at the thought, and then there's the fact that the "30 minutes outside of DC" translates to "Eastern Zimbabwe" for our friends and family... seriously, not even central Zimbabwe... Eastern.

So, in February I started putting the thought in Joe's ear that we should not stay in the burbs any longer than was necessary, that we were both now in our 30's and that we should buy something... anything - as long as it was in the city. He was equally as keen to return to being city-mice as he'd grown up in Brooklyn and moved straight to DC and then this evil woman came into his life, made him love her and moved him to where there are parking lots and chain restaurants...everywhere.

So I hunted (read that literally) for our new home. I surfed every new home app as well as our realtor's site (Lindsay and the gang are amaze-balls) and did drive-by's (the good kind) in all my coveted neighborhoods - for months.  Then when we finally found the perfect home - it was gone from the market before we could blink (twice!) Average time on the market in DC is currently 3-5 daysssssss.  But I digress... and I kept hunting, I ate, drank and breathed realty (ask Joe) and FINALLY...

Joe and I bought a house* in the city!

*Read house as 680sq.ft. 1 bed and den, 1 bath, pre-war (fancy way of saying 3rd-floor walk-up) w/d in the basement, 2 closets in the entire place and neither in the bedrooms, condo.

I'm so excited I could do something extremely un-lady-like.
Talk about personal Victory.

It's in the most perfect part of the city (to us) on the most perfect street (to us) and it is in an adorable building (to us). It's like we just bought Park Place or Boardwalk, and it rocks.

So, we settle on the home August 15th. And our tentative move date is two Thursdays after that (we will be painting and prepping the first weekend). So that gives us a month from YESTERDAY to pack up and ship out. *picks self-up off of floor after black-out and continues to write* 

One small side note- as I said, we currently live in 1400 sq.ft, of two floors, two full bedrooms and three bathrooms with a well gardened 20 foot patio. So moving to less than half of our current floorplan with 2 cats and planning on a baby entering that picture at some point in the near future- this is no problem right?

As this man would say... Piece of cake!
Quick, name the movie!

So now. All of my time is spent thinking about this move and really with one word emblazoned in my mind... downsizing.

With this move, my entire world is shifting, it's not just a move, I'm beginning an entire philosophy around this. And the more I mulled and cut magazine articles and DIY's and Pinned like the dickens on how to make my life so much smaller (yet more valuable) than it has been ever before I thought - I should really write about this.

So there it is.  Sorry I was gone - but now I'm back, with a quest. 

One woman's quest to live with less in a world that thinks that more is best.

 

And away we go!

Sincerely,
Jessica

p.s. I'm bringing back the sign-off, that's right, I said it.

Home Shopping Network

Good Evenin' Victory Seekers!

See, I'm back, and so soon too. I bet you thought it would be another 6 weeks before we met again, but I can't stay away, I like you too much for that. I'm like a cat, I just want to crawl up in your lap and have a little chat. Like this...

True story - I look like this first thing in the morning.

So I went home last night and began to Shop at Home.  Instead of buying a new advent calendar, I unpacked my xmas boxes and BEHOLD, an advent calendar all pretty and glittered and un-advented from last year (keeping myself from buying one this week is big... I am a bit of fan of any of the accutrements that Christmas brings... I also enjoy the thrill of opening little paper doors).


Then I sat and picked up my current project, of the crochet variety, and realized I need to add a base of a different color (neigh) to it and immediately thought of all the yarn I could purchase to make that happen. . . . But I stopped and instead went to my stash (also known as Michael's West) and VOILA- yarn, for "free," wot will do quite nicely.

VICTORY and Success!

This is what you get when you google success. See, the world ain't that bad.

So, I know I said I'd start in the bathroom. But aside from being in that first club I told you about last post, I'm also in this other one, I believe I've mentioned - the I'm Awesome at Plan B'ing club.

For that club we really were going to get t-shirts, but the line was really long, and it started to rain, so we went to a movie instead... and it was spectacular.

Last night we got our Christmas tree.  His name is Abe Vigoda.  To most of the world he's known as Frank Langella, but around the house he prefers Abe.

Fantastic character actor, and I can tell a lot about YOUR character whether
you recognize him from The Godfather or from Look Who's Talking.

Who am I to begrudge a tree?  Last year our tree's name was Henry, so we obviously have a showboater on our hands.

We will decorate darling Abe tonight. Ooo - I'm all a twitter.

Victory!

Jess

Money, Monie, Monay, Mahhhnay

Hello Victory Seekers,

So I did NOT get eaten and swallowed up by a camel or disappear into any dark alleyways thanks to a sly snake charmer... though I did ride a camel and see a snake charmer.

Foreign Cat - Mow mow.

I did however, have a ridiculously amazing time in the two weeks that Joe and I were gone but then arrived home with a pretty horrible head cold- which is what we get for leaving 80 degree Morocco for 40 degrees and wet Paris and England- (by round of applause, how many people love flying with a sinus infection). So that knocked me out for a few days and those few days away from the computer turned into being behind in getting ready for Thanksgiving (also out of town), I bake, and all the while still unpacking my house (moved in mid-September) and then we got back and holy-moly it's Christmas time.

Were those enough excuses?

I'm sorry for the absence.  There, I said it, now can we all just get over it and move on - geez, hold on to stuff why don't you.

Ahee.

It's Christmas time, you have to forgive me. Santa's Law.

Alright so back to the business at hand - FIRST let me say that I will be writing my travels up and adding pics (3,000+ is what I came home with...yowza). But for right now - let us continue with the victory we can touch and feel, shall we?

So it's the holiday season and that means spending money on extra food ingredients (that were probably still in your pantry from last year) and new clothes (even though you just bought that blue sweater but forgot about it because you wore it once and now it's in your trunk) and gifts for others (multiple because you started the stash in August but forgot about the funny mug so you bought the funny t-shirt too) and CRAFTS (because you are going to be different this year, save money and make all your presents and because can never have too many...right?)

Just as the coins drip through the hourglass, so too, are the monies I never keep.

All of this got me thinking... I DO have a ton of ingredients and pie filling and the like in my pantry and I DO have a couple of new items and really just a few old ones I keep forgetting exist and I DO have so many crafting supplies that I could open my own competing kiosk and I DO already have a few gifties- in the box where I collect them, but have I gone through to see what I really have? Not so much.

My point.  I have a lot of stuff - in various forms. But the idea is, if I have so much and so many, materials, supplies, food and gifts... what am I doing purchasing more?

Now, I'm not trying to close up shop and go of the grid JUST now (though I do have a Goin Off The Grid board on Pinterest). I'm not advocating stunting the economy and calling a halt to all spending...

But I am saying - Hey... Jess... stop buying stuff you don't need!!!

So.  I'm going to start a little inventory game.  And I'm going to start off "small" as I'm a known member of the "This is a great idea, let me put all my resources and energy into doing ALL of this idea RIGHT NOW... I'm tired, never mind" club.

We were going to get t-shirts made, but it never really happened... weird.

So- first in my order of - Inventory Thyself before Thy Wrecks Thyself (it's a working title) I am going to go through my bath products and see what I have.

Seeing as I've just moved, they are still in two big tubs in the bedroom.  My point, if I have pretty soaps and body washes, 1- why should I be shopping for more and 2- as one of my Homemade Gifts this year, I want to make more lotions and soaps and I can raid my own supply for starter soaps and pretty smelling things to make the base of them all. (I'm so smart)

Shop At Home

That's what this is. It's not a very pretty thing to say but it's shopping within my own house for items I forgot I had. And using them to the best of my abilities... or their abilities.

Do you have a room in your house with a closet in that room with a box in that closet with things that you know are probably useful but you forgot they were there?

Let's not lie to each other, it cheapens what we have... Find it and go shopping!

Well alright then- Onward- To Victory!

Jessica

I want YOU to go shopping in your own house!

Excersize your Adventure!

Hello Fellow Victory Seekers and Welcome!

Do you remember being 6 or 9, even 14? 

Adventure was so easy to capture then.  No need to climb a waterfall or sky dive. You didn't actually have to go to Timbuktu. In those days to adventure, all you needed to do was leave the house. By yourself.  

And while you ran around your backyard playing pirates and indians or exploring the shallow pools of your neighborhood creek, you weren't afraid of anything.

The world was easily conquered then with minimal supplies - no cell phones or wallets, no id cards or car keys- all you needed were your best friends, be they imaginary or otherwise.

Experiences were always new and fresh and the victory of your days seemed never ending.

And as such, you may grow up thinking "I'm adventurous! Hell yes I like new things!" because new was- well... everything. 

But I've recently come to realize that this sense of adventure one thinks one has (again, the part of one will be played by me), that desire to do something entirely new and challenging is actually- a muscle. 

And like any other muscle, if you don't use it - you lose it.

Case in point:

Joe and I were recently married (in June-YaY!). We took a short honeymoon to Disney World - (as a side note let me just say that you can hit 6 theme parks in 3 days... but unless your actually insides are pixie dust and sugar, as are mine, it is not recommended for mere mortals or the faint of heart) and then we planned for a big fall Europe (Jessica-want) or Africa (Joe-want) trip for this fall.

After MUCH debate and late night conversations - and after many a moment of me pulling Joe off the crazy train of the places we could go and the sights we could see (The Galapagos, Antarctica and the Trans-Siberian Railroad to name a few... So some were actual crazy trains) we decided on Spain, Morocco and Paris.

If he gets a night in the Sahara, I get two in Paris.

Now don't get me wrong I really DO want to see Mongolia (have you seen the documentary Babies?) 

And I'm sure Bosnia is beautiful- but for a honeymoon I'd be perfectly happy to hit Paris, England and anywhere really... anywhere I've already been that is.

And that's when I realized it; the reason my "adventurous self" kept balking at... Well, the Balkans- was because this will be the first really new adventure I've been on since my father took me to Europe as a grad present from high school... over 10 years ago!

Think of it- when was the last time you did something completely new? Went somewhere completely different?

Now, since that trip to Europe (France, Switzerland and Italy) I have traveled to England (again), Paris (again), Niagara Falls and the lake district north of Toronto (new), Idaho (new), Rome (again) and a Blues trip down south where Joe's and my penchant for being excellent Plan B'ers (being awesome at reformatting your plans on the fly - usually to something better- when Plan A goes all sad trombone on you) meant we saw everything-  except for any blues... Whatsoever.  

That trip rocked. 

And YES- I had never been to Dollywood (harvesty). Or Boise (beautiful) or seen Niagara lit up at dusk while driving between the two countries on a bridge (probs should have had Joe driving for that moment- so sparkly) but the basics were similar: we drove there and could easily follow the English signs back to home base. Or, wherever we were, they spoke English and the culture was very similar to mine because it was, in essence, my culture. 

But Morocco? An Islamic country (albeit the most western accepting of them all- I mean if you can film the Sex and the City movies there, it must have a certain level of western-chill)- but an entire country where women and men are treated differently and in a way that my American sensibilities are not familiar with (Big thanks for that Gloria! :). 

And riding a camel? I mean, not in a circle at a pet a pet zoo- but into the Sahara, as an actual mode of transportation, and the sleeping there. 

Hell at this stage of my life, my adventure muscle was all "oh no, I'm sorry you must have misunderstood, I have a new apartment a lovely couch and cable - I'm good here" when we spoke of Spain, let alone North Africa!

BUT- one cannot attain Victory at life unless one actually tries to live it!

And I am realizing- or remembering- that at the age of 32, of course I am not done seeing and doing new things. 

Thank goodness for that. 

So, as not to be a fuddy-duddy, well before my time, and perhaps to work off a little of that 9-5 desk-butt I fear I may be developing. And to add to my resume "I've been to Spain, Morocco and slept in the desert."

In order to continue living life and living up to that awesome fun, silly and adventurous girl my Joe fell in love with, I - my Fellow Victory Seekers...

Am going on an ADVENTURE!

I highly encourage you to do the same. Do something new today - hell just leave the house without your cell phone.

I triple-dog-dare you ;-) I mean I didn't. But that's how I can be posting this from Miami's international airport mere hours before we take off for two weeks in uncharted (by us at least) waters, sands and foreign lands. 

To International Victory!

And to Spain! :-)

Flying high somewhere between DC and Miami

 

 

Travel essential... chocolate

 

 

 

Adorable... but who comes to the airport WITHOUT luggage? Ponderous.